April and May 2010

Its June

Alright. It's June. My birthday month. Let the celebration (and presents) begin!! I don't actually remember how old I am. I've lied about it for some years now. My closest guess is 43. Hmmm. When did that happen? My mother was a GRANDMOTHER when she was my age! No thanks. Not ready for that just yet! Lets see. Since my last post there have been a few developments. My youngest sister and her husband(whose name is also Chris...isn't that fun?) lost the entire downstairs of their home in the Nashville flood. This includes, but is not limited to: both cars, Melissa's art studio (which is her job), Chris' musical instruments and equipment (of which he had A LOT), their computer, which housed all their photographs, including wedding pictures,vacation pictures, pictures of me...(haha)and on and on and on. It was a terrifying experience for Melissa. Chris was out of town,(because as Im sure you've noticed, the Simms girls just HAVE to wait until their husbands are out of town to have an emergency) Apparently, it had begun raining...a lot and the flood water came about 50 feet from her house on Friday, but receeded overnight when it stopped raining so hard. The following day it came that close again, but Melissa thought, It CANT rain more than it did yesterday and it didn't come all the way up here, so it'll be ok. She went upstairs and took a nap (because what else is there to do on a rainy Saturday!!) When she awoke, the water was 20 feet from the house, and it was still rising. She hurried to try and get the "important stuff" to higher ground...the computer, some paperwork, Chris' drum set..but she only took most of it to the landing on the stairs(which is about 8' up) because she was by herself and in a hurry and thought that surely 8 feet would be safe!! When she ran out of time, she put the cat in the carrier and leashed her two doggys just as the water was buckling the garage door. She fled to the neighbor's house, whom she had never met, but lived on a hill behind her. She said trying to climb that hill with a cat carrier and two dogs in the pouring rain and practically a river running down the hill as she climbed up was terrifying. When she was almost there, her neighbors heard the dogs barking and came to her rescue, helping her the rest of the way up the hill and taking care of her for 2-3 days and being enormous help to them when they were able to return and clean up what they could and demolish the rest. Of course, as is the case in most of the flood victims here, they didn't have flood insurance because they don't live in a flood plain...not even a 100 year flood plain. Their car insurance covered the cars and they qualified for a FEMA grant, but that doesn't come near covering the expense of rebuilding. Your prayers are welcomed, as this isn't on the news anymore, but the people here are most definately going to be dealing with this for some time to come. Its the little things that seem to put my sister over the edge. (The three of us are a lot alike. We can handle the big stuff, but the little stuff drives us nuts!!) Melissa called me a couple of weeks ago and was frantic. "Thank God you answered! I am about to have a nervous breakdown" Calm down. What's wrong? "I am sick of this. I just want my life back! I just reached in the washer to pull out a rolled up sock and it was a dead MOUSE!!! I PICKED IT UP!!!! WE HAVE TO GET WALLS SOON!!!!" I tried to be supportive. I remembered pulling a dehydrated froggy from my dryer once when Warner had left him in his jeans pocket, and this was surely worse, because at least the froggy wasn't mushy. I remembered having seen a mouse earlier in the day and going to bed that night, walking down the hall in the dark I stepped on one of the boys rolled up socks and KNEW it was the mouse and made to the bed in one giant jump (from the hall)..but this was surely worse, because it really was just a rolled up sock. I recalled going into my grandfather's shed to get my grandmother's old Singer pedal sewing machine for my mother, reaching to pick it up and wondering how my grandfather had gotten the cord to lay that way, all coiled neatly inside, and the cord moved and in less than a second realizing that pedal machines don't have cords and it was a snake. I remembered how HORRIFIED I was after all those incidents. I really wanted to be supportive...but all I could do was laugh and say, "Oh honey, I'm so sorry" Compassion...not my Spiritual gift I guess. On a lighter note, Tanner graduated High School in May and plans to attend Motlow College in the fall, then will transfer to MTSU. He wants to be a high school teacher...you know, if the whole pro skateboarder gig doesn't pan out. AnnaLyn's spinal tap has FINALLY been rescheduled..third times the charm, right? It's set for July 19. Praying for answers Everyone else is doing well. No big plans for the summer. Hunter is planning to come home in September for a visit, though it was originally August, and he keeps moving it back. In July he will have been in the USAF for a year already. good grief. Not too much else to report from around here. Soooo...until next time...HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME....

Life in the dark

Apparently, I still have a lot to learn about dependece on God. You'd think I'd be further along in this area by now, and goodness knows, I've had "opportunity" after opportunity to practice. Yet, everytime another "opportunity" arises, I flub it up. argh. So, this weeks "opportunity" was this: AnnaLyn's neurologist wants her to have a spinal tap so they can analyze her spinal fluid and determine exactly which neurotransmitter, if any, she is deficient in and how deficient she is. He believes she has TH (tyrosine hydroxylase) deficiency, however, she did not respond to the treatment as he had expected. He ordered the test in November, around the time she started her decline. It was scheduled for January, but cancelled by the hospital...some problem with a member of the sedation team. It took months to be rescheduled, but was finally rescheduled for today. In the mean time, she goes on and off her medication, ramping up, ramping down, going on, coming off...(she has to be off the meds for 2 weeks prior to the procedure to make sure they get a correct analysis) She is very suceptible to side effects, so every time we go on and off meds, it is hard on everyone involved for weeks at a time. Also, because of her recent decline, she has been put on hold for Speech therapy and Occupational therapy because she not only isn't making progress, but is losing skills. The plan has been to pick her back up for these therapies when we know more about her prognosis. For example, if she is going to continue to decline, then we go with the approach of maintaining skills we have and attempting to regain some lost skills. If medication will help, then we pick her back up when she is at the appropriate dosage and feel we can make the best progress. It was VERY difficult to place these therapies on hold, but we know this is the best for AnnaLyn for the time being. With that being said, we were very excited that we were finally going to, hopefully, get some answers soon. Nervous about the test, yes, but more hopeful, and very much willing to get it done and overwith! OK, now the dependent on God part. AnnaLyn, who hasn't had an asthma attack since August, had an asthma attack Monday night. She had to go to the ER (which is another story entirely, because nothing is EVER just easy, is it?) They did a chest x-ray and it was clear, so they gave her an increased dose of albuterol (and oh my goodness, she didn't go to bed til 1am when I put her in her room and closed the door. I found her upside down in the bed the next morning. WILD!!!) and some prednisone liquid, which she promptly threw up on the nurse. The ER doc said she should be ok for the procedure on Wednesday. Tuesday we followed up with the pediatrician, who also said she should be ok for the procedure. I called the neurologist to give them a heads up and let them know she is on prednisone and to ask if that would affect the analysis of the spinal fluid. No, it won't, but you need to make sure to tell the sedation nurse when she calls about the ashtma attack. So I did. And they refused to do the procedure. "But her lungs sound great, she isn't short of breath anymore, she's taking steroids and inhaled steriods, and her chest x-ray is clear....No, we cant do it. We'll have to reschedule. I decided later that evening that if her lungs still sounded good this morning that i would take her anyway and make them listen to her and see that she's ok. After all, they sound good now. But I prayed that God would intervene with my plans if I was just trying to do things my way. HE did. This morning she was wheezing worse than ever, and sounds like she may have pneumonia!!! I didn't take her. I haven't heard from the nurse yet on when we will reschedule, but if history is a predictor, it will be several more months. ARGH. I hate being in the dark! I hate not being in control. Why cant people just do things my way? It would be so much easier. haha. Ok, you know I have to end with a funny. So, Chris, of course, was out of town this week during this whole ordeal, as is most often the case now days! He doesn't like it, but I think he should enjoy it. Please, someone PAY me to get out of town for a few days. Even if it is for work. Still, he's a family man and prefers to be home everynight. We've been at the ER for a couple of hours, wrestling a 4 year old to get a 10 minute breathing treatment, holding her still to take liquid medication, being thrown up on, trying to get her to be still for the x-ray after they doped her up on albuterol, trying to explain to the staff that she has autism and doesnt understand all their instructions....Now, time to take wild baby home. I called Chris from the parking lot to let him know AnnaLyn was ok and we were on the way home. There was a lot of background noise, so I asked him, "Where are you, it's loud on your end of the line" "Oh, yeah, Im at the Cheesecake Factory in Kansas City". I just wanted to punch him right in the nose!

January to April, and "Gotcha Days" gone by

GOTCHA!!!

Happy Gotcha Day! Can you believe it's been 3 years now? Lets see, fun memories from April 9, 2007....Up at the crack of dawn to board a plane to Guangzhou. It didn't matter how early it was. We didn't sleep anyway! Hanging out in the lobby of the hotel, waiting for roll call...."Family 1, Family 2...Family 16" (that was us). Remember the forever bus ride to the Civil Affairs office? I swear it took forever! Everybody grinning from ear to ear. We'll have our babies in just an hour! Amy kept telling us not to cry when they hand us our baby, and don't be upset when they cry. "They will know that you love them". All the last minute instructions: "You bebe will have on lots of clothe. Dont undress you bebe when you get her back to hotel. She need familiar smell of clothe. When we go out, make sure bebe covered up. She used to having on lots of clothe. Western kids used to not wearing many clothe, but Chinese bebe alway bundled." We were so excited to get "updates" on the girls on the way to civil affairs. Gao Shao Huan (AnnaLyn)now had 9 tooth pieces. We all compared the girls updates. Oh my goodness...it was really happening! Right now. We pulled into the "alley" where the Civil Affairs office was located, got off the bus and passed another bus of "Westerners" that had just gotten their babies. Man, how many babies do they adopt out of here in a day?!? They all looked petrified. The parents and the babies. We were too. "Ok, Tanner, you've got the video camera, right? Dont let daddy touch the video camera. We want to be able to watch the video without being sick!. Who has the picture camera? Take lots of pictures. Take pictures of everybody, but especially of AnnaLyn.....And for goodness sake, remember, you're on camera. If not ours, somebody elses. So please behave. OK, lets go get our babygirl!" We are finally here. Where are the babies? Oh, more paperwork first. "please check that your names and addresses are spelled correctly...." Good grief, what IS my name?? Can we just have the babies? We hear them in the other room. Dont you hear them crying for us??? And they brought them out. one by one. Hope came out walking to her mommy and daddy. Eliana wasn't a happy camper. The Pridemore twins were throwing quite a fit too. AnnaLyn was beautiful. Well, at least I think she was. I could barely see her through the tears I wasn't supposed to have in my eyes. And she was so far away. All the other nannies gave the babies to the mommies. AnnaLyn's nanny gave her to Chris. (And she still prefers him to this day!) She didn't cry at all. Never made a peep. Just stared at us, at the ceiling, looked around the room, probably thinking, "what have i gotten myself into?" I remember thinking, "I think something's wrong, she isn't crying like the other babies." I don't remember much after that. Just staring at her. I hadn't remembered how LOUD it was in that room until I went back and watched the video. So, now we have our girls and they ushered us out of the room. We passed by another bunch of "Westerners", coming to get their babies. Wow. It's like a machine. Sad, really. Back to the hotel. Was it loud on the bus? I don't remember. I must have tuned it out if it was. AnnaLyn still didn't cry. She just stared out the window. She sure looked hot in that little pink sweat suit and red socks. So we walk in our hotel room and plop her on the bed. What's the first thing I did? Stripped her naked, just like they told me not to do. I don't care. I wanna see my babygirl. She's a tiny little thing with all those clothes off! Hey, I know, lets give her a bath. She kind of smells funny. (Actually, all of China kind of smells funny) She likes the water. yay. OK, which cute "warm pajamers" should we put on her first? I let the boys pick them out. Chris warmed a bottle and scooted the boys out of the room. Poor thing was starved to death, but didn't know how to suck from a bottle. It took a while and a few trial and errors with the nipples for her to get it, but she was patient. Still no crying. Time for bed. She just laid in the bed and looked around. No crying. She finally drifted off to sleep...and slept all night while her mommy and daddy watched her breathe. Wow, is she always gonna be this easy? And that was the end of the first Gotcha Day.

Spring Break

Ahh, Spring Break. The kids are out of school, the weather is warmer, the buttercups are blooming, the trees are budding, the grass is greening up...It conjures up a lovely picture,doesn't it? WAKE UP!!!! ITS THE MORGANS YOURE READING ABOUT HERE!!! Yes, the kids are out of school, which means I haven't laid eyes on them all week. Warner is going for a new record of how many nights he can spend away from home (and in the process,I believe, how many days he can go without eating real food, showering or changing clothes!!) Sawyer is on a videogame spree. Not sure he's seen the light of day in a while. Tanner asked off for the whole week, and didn't get but one day off, and he spent it with Kelsey! And of course, AnnaLyn is completely off her schedule, which throws her into a tizzy. Bless her heart, she hung in there pretty good til Friday,then she just fell apart. The girl needs her schedule. Sooooo, my dear husband came up with the idea to go camping this weekend. with his mother. Oh no. " Honey, you just take the boys and meet your mom up there. I'll stay here with AnnaLyn. She's not herself lately, and I hate to take her to an unfamiliar place right now." "No, we're all going, she'll be fine, I've spent too much time away from all of you, and I want us all to go. It'll be fun."...."Please honey, I really don't want to go. Anna will be miserable, the cabin is right on the water and I'll be a nervous wreck all weekend. Just let us stay here. I promise you'll have more fun w/o us."...."No, we're all going. It'll be fun, you'll see".....Famous Last Words! Well, it was good to see mom and Harold, but that is all. It was cold and rainy and incredibly windy all weekend. I didn't have to worry about AnnaLyn going near the water, because we barely ventured out of the cabin. In fact, once to go to the playground, which was a bit of a nightmare in itself, but that's another story for another day, and a second time to go to walmart. The rest of the time, AnnaLyn and I stayed in a room 1/2 the size of my den. She went through the trash more times than I can count, and everytime I turned around, she had another bag of clothes or toys strewn everywhere. or drinking from a glass someone left laying around, or eating food off a plate in the trash. You're thinking "in a room 1/2 the size of your den, couldn't you keep a better eye on her than that?" the answer is, no. She's a sly little booger. I swear she knows how to make a big enough mess to keep you busy for just long enough to get into something else!! She's got it down to a science! Sweet little thing. So with all this running around the room 1/2 the size of my den, you'd think I'd at least sleep well, right? no. Remember how windy it is? There is a sign on the front of the cabin, bearing it's name, "Chickadee Cabin". It's made of wood and suspended by a chain secured by 2 screws. And when the wind blows, it bangs against the cabin with amazing force. Very early this morning,after my second night of interrupted sleep, I marched outside in the wind and rain,intending to do something terrible to the Chickadee Cabin sign, but God has a great sense of humor, and the sign is just out of my reach, twisting and writhing in the wind, chain securely fastned to the wall. So I kicked the cabin wall instead. SO THERE! ow. We said our goodbyes, earlier than we usually do, and are home now. What a lovely Spring Break. And in case you're wondering, as we were packing up and Chris was getting Annalyn out of the trash for the 3rd time this morning, he said to me, "I'm sorry. You were right."

Is this what it's like?

Is this what it's like to be my FATHER? When you want to help me stay in the lines, but I just want to do it my way, and I end up with a mess? When YOU try to teach me something new, but I think it's too hard and I throw a fit or won't even try? When YOU want to show me that you love me, but I won't be still enough to receive it? When YOU prepare a feast for me, but I just want the peanut butter sandwich...again? Do YOU ever get tired of showing me the same things over and over again, and I seem to learn so slowly? Do YOU get tired of chasing after me when I've pulled my hand free of yours again? When YOU ask me to look at YOU, and I turn my head in YOUR direction, but my eyes aren't focused on YOU, are YOU frustrated? Do YOU ever cry over me? If someone notices that I'm different, and they are hurtful to me, does it hurt YOU too? Does it make YOU angry? Do YOU feel sad when I do things that hurt myself over and over again? Is this how it feels when YOUR children fight? When you want to gather us all together for a good time, but we all insist on our own way and it all falls apart? Do YOU get tired of waiting for me to come home? Of reminding me what I'm supposed to be doing? Do YOU get frustrated when I waste my time and energy on things that don't matter? When I won't listen to wisdom? When I won't wait on YOU? When I think I know what's best for my own life, but come crying to YOU to fix it when it goes wrong? Is this what it's like? And is this what it's like to be my FATHER, when I follow YOU around the house and try to do what YOU do, even though I don't do it just right? When I only want my juice in a coffee cup, because that's what YOU drink from? When I come in from a long day and actually sit down and WANT to talk to YOU? Do YOU brag about me when I learn a new song on the guitar? Or keep practicing on the drums til I finally get it? Are YOU overjoyed when YOU see me teaching my brother how to play? When I play tea party with my little sister, even though YOU know I'd rather be doing something else? When YOU see me trying to do the right thing, even though it's not what I want to do, and even if I fail, are YOU still proud of me? Is this what it's like?